Inspiration from Life as a Minecraft Mob, by ShadowLykos on Wattpad.


Comment below if you have any requests! I cannot do Tank until the other aspects are developed, though. I normally do these in order from top to bottom. 

EDIT: School is in full swing now, so don't expect regular updates.


Translated from ZipCrash

Hi. I’m Riptide, a small Crasher. Yes, we do have names.

I suppose I’m lucky. My friends got a bunch of much worse names, like Fasty, Epic, and one of them, Pinky.

Life as a Crasher sucks. We lot are born in the Undergrid, a place that you lot would probably call Hell, and we only exist for a short time before a tank comes along. Then we are forced to follow them unrelentingly until they, or we, die. We forced to by the Guardian of the Pentagons, or more commonly known as the Guardian. It controls us and can manipulate us. If too many of us die and too many of the pentagons are destroyed, they make an appearance themselves. It stops all the killing for a while, anyways.

Very few of us have actually survived being in the Arena. I’m one of them. The only chance we have is to be ejected right when the arena is closing, and the last tank standing gets too close to the Nest. We follow them for a few seconds and wham, a big friendly yellow bullet kills them for us and we are saved from out definite doom.

The other chance is to land the killing blow on a tiny tank, but shortly after, we die from a different tank anyways.

I live now in retirement. It’s ironic, really. There’s a huge space vaccinated for us, but the population here is like fifteen. And I’m talking fifteen out of practically a million Crashers. Because the chances of surviving are so slim.

There’s always a chance we might get called out again someday. The Guardian has dreams of complete domination over the Arena. We doubt it would work. I mean, there’s too many tanks crawling above us. Plus, the Guardian has been erased quite a number of times by the tanks anyways.

That’s right, erased. Erased from the Arena, forced to return to the Undergrid as code and to regain a body. The whole regaining thing takes time. For the tanks, it’s minutes. Time is bent in the Undergrid, so a minute out there is a month for us.

Of course, the Guardian isn’t the only one with ideas of power. The Summoner, and Defender and the Fallen Ones all constantly squabble. Technically it’s impossible to kill down here, so the most they’d do is holler some. It’s awfully loud though. I can hardly catch a wink of sleep at night when they have their nearly scheduled fights.

Also it’s hot down here. The Undergrid is sealed off entirely from the Arena, but somehow, rarely, a tank may accidentally break the code barrier and appear down here for a few seconds before the Anti-Tank system shoos them away again. I’ve seen it happen once. It was a little blue basic tank, who sat extremely confused for a few seconds before promptly vanishing.

So, yeah. Please don’t hate on us. We Crashers have a story too. You won’t have to deal with us if you never venture to the Nest. Please, let us live a longer and happier life.


What’s yellow, extremely common in the Diepverse and is known by all?

That’s right, the Arena Closer.

You could’ve also said Square, by the way.

Life, to say in the least, is boring. We just float around aimlessly in the Arena, sometimes bump into a friend. Nearly none of us have felt the thrill of a Tank dying to our clutches.

Like all other things, we’re born in the Undergrid. Unlike other things, we never get to see it. Within milliseconds of the code forming, before we even have a chance to realise what we are, we’re thrown into the Arena for some tank to use us for their own good.

Everything in the Diepverse revolves around EXP. I know for a fact that over two thirds of the code here is used to make EXP. It’s science.

Anyways, basically everything is composed of EXP. When something dies, the impact of the lost of HP causes the code to rapidly unravel, making the entity vanish. The unraveling also dispels some of the EXP the thing has to whomever killed it to pick it up for their own use.

Oh yeah, EXP is also different depending on the world. It’s worth more in Domination than in Four Teams. I’m a Domination square. So far I’m lucky. I’m sure the Arena is closing soon, Blue is slowly destroying the last Red Dominator, and I’ll be able to finally see my birthplace again. That is, if I don’t die to some bullet or drone or trap wielding thing.

Tanks. You ruin everything for us. We Squares, to put it simply, are different to other Polygons. We’re actually slightly more mobile than a Triangle or Pentagon. So when a Necromancer comes along and infects us with the Virus, it forces us to move faster. We tire out much more quickly, at at least that’s what my friend told me, a Survivor after their Necromancer was shot by a Stalker. It a terrible thing to be enslaved and to be controlled by another thing.

That brings me to another topic. The Polygons are influenced by the Summoner, otherwise known to us as the Father of All Shapes.

Yeah, that sounds weird.

There isn’t a nicer Boss Tank than them. But even they can’t stop the horde of mass slaughter that happens every single day.

Please, listen to me. Be a Pacifist. Don’t kill us. If you need EXP, kill something else. Like a Triangle, or something. They’re too snooty and stuck up anyways.

It’s funny how we have less sides than a Square, yet we are stronger.

Probably because we’re pointier.

Right on point, I’d say.

HA! Puns.

We Triangles have a proud history. There’s a tank named after us, for one. The Tri-Angle, preceeder to the Booster(which is a Tri-Angle, believe me, only with extra things stuck on the end). We marvel them, and in return, many of them leave us alone. Some disgraceful individuals ignore their history and pillage and burn us at our stakes.

Another thing we’re proud of it that we’re the rarest normal Polygon. I’m talking normal, here. Not the Alpha Pentagons or those weird green and orange mutants. Actually no one even know if an orange… thing exists.

Because of our rarity we’re special, unlike those boring nerdy Squares or the almost round Pentagons. Ew. I hate circles. Too curved for my taste.

You might think, ‘Isn’t the Pentagon the rarest?’ My friend, next time you’re visiting, take a stroll to the Nest, where you may hear screaming from their foul little mouths.

Oh wait, I forgot they didn’t have mouths. My bad.

Tanks should respect us, since we’re the best of all Polygons. We’re an all rounder. Nice rarity, no unusual *cough*AHEM*cough* colours of any sorts. Obviously there’s always a few who ignore that rule and come out mutated. We chuck them out the first chance we have. Also we’re pretty strong too. Just the right level. Not flimsy like a Square, and not huge and bulky like a Pentagon.

We hate the Summoner. Full stop. They pay too much attention to the idiot Squares. They like them so much they’ve even changed THEMSELVES into a freaking Square. One day we’ll break free from his grasp and join the Guardian. He’s awesome and Triangular, except pink and isosceles. Actually, we’ll have our own Boss. A nice blood red to scare everyone.

At least that's what we thought long ago. And then the Defender appeared.

I remember that fateful day. It was an unexpected update, so many of us were caught off guard. But when the smoke cleared at last, there he was.

He's odd though. He seems more.. pacifist than the others.

But we will change that. We will show him REAL power. And who deserves it.

So far, he has not seen that we want to help him in his conquest. And so, we shall gain his trust. And so, we shall be his, and he shall be ours.

Pay your respects to your preceders, unworthy and filthy tanks. One day we’ll rule the world and we’ll crush you like pawns under our feet.

I’m the Pentagon, the most wanted shape of them all.

We’re split into two groups - The Nestlings, those who are born in the Nest(this is the terrible fate of most of us) and the Sidelings, those who aren’t.

Like every other Polygon, we’ve never seen our home. It’s depressing, knowing where you came from yet knowing nothing about it.

We’re wanted for our EXP. Let me tell you about how it works. Oh, you already know? From whom? A Square? Oh.

I like Squares. They’re smart and nice. But most of all their fate is very much similar to ours, and we empathise with them. They empathise with us, too.

The Triangle? No. They’re too stuck up in their own world, blabbering about how awesome and wonderful they all are and reeling on about world domination and how they’ll make their own boss and other garbage. The Summoner, although probably just as ambitious, has never in history asked us to lay our lives down for the purpose of domination. He’s better than the rest of them, I dare say.

Oh, and in the Arena we’re slow. One of my friends recall having a controlled Crasher ram into their side in pursuit of a Level 45 tank, and they went as fast as it. It was epic. The tank died when they hit them, instantly granting both of them freedom. The Crasher was called Epic, I think. Rather strange name.

Oh dear, I just made a pun, didn't I?

How do I know this? I’m a Survivor. I’ve survived a round before, and now I’m back. Apparently in the Polygon world, the more rounds you survive, the greater the rewards will be. Take the Risk, they say.

I wonder what happens after we die. Some of us think we’ll return to the Undergrid as another Polygon, or an Alpha Pentagon. Some of them think we’ll become Tanks, and end up killing our kin without any remorse or memory.

I doubt all those theories. I actually don’t want to think about what happens after we die. IF we die. The oldest shape around here is a Pentagon who survived over twenty rounds. It may not seem like much to you, but for us, he’s ANCIENT.

I won’t cower in the face of death though. Tanks have to kill us for EXP, and we know that. At least we’ll die, knowing that we’ve helped someone.

[Completed]Alpha Pentagon

Translated from Alphish

Hi. I’m Bob. Bob the Alpha Pentagon.

We’re in a way more fortunate than the other polygons, and in a way, not so much.

Let me tell you our history. We were once normal, happy, average sized Pentagons. Nothing wrong at all.

Until that fateful day, the otherworldly forces forced us to change.

It made us slower and larger, and we grew, dominating over all other shapes. EXP was forced at us, making us larger, larger and larger still, as our score count skyrocketed.

Then we were placed in the Arena, smack dab in the Nest.

It was hilarious, at first. I just sat, blinking in the sunlight when I heard the cute scream of a little Level 5 tank as it ran for its life, shouting “ALIEN INVASION!”

I got similar reactions after that.

But then a full Level 45 Hybrid glided up to us. It stared at us, more importantly Johnny, who was rather obviously asleep. The Drones twitched, as if not sure whether or not to attack us.

Then he shot.

Over a sixth of Johnny's health was nicked away. Some of us screamed, and I just yelled my head off. The Hybrid went again. Another sixth was removed.

The Drones it wielded ran up to me and started scratching me. It... actually barely hurt. The Drones were quite weak, and they kept dying and respawning. But I knew, once the Hybrid was done with Johnny, it’ll come. For me.

Johnny finally woke up(I mean, how the heck did he sleep through all of that?!?) at a sixth of his health left. He cried out and begged us to help, but we couldn’t move. We were too slow and heavy.

He vanished a second later, his overload of EXP spilling everywhere, and the Hybrid turned its canon on me and fired.

It was like being slapped in the face with a wrecking ball. Only replace the wrecking ball with a six inch bullet and the face with my backside.

It hurt, and he wasn’t done yet. He shot again.

That was when a message flashed overhead: ‘Arena Closed: No players can join.’

“NO!” I heard him yell, and he couldn’t have said anything else either, because a giant yellow bullet caught him in the face and he died instantly.

It was the closest and scariest thing that had ever happened in my tiny life.

Well, now we’re retired Polygons. I’m glad we could move normally again, it’s relief. Though we’re still always that big and heavy. So when we want to go watch the yearly Crasher Fights, we have to pay over seven times more than the normal amount since we take up so many seats. If we want to go to the cinema, it’s seven tickets. Also we have to eat seven times more than the normal Polygon.

Yeah, we need to eat, like how tanks need to eat EXP. We eat skill points, since we rely on them for health regeneration and that rubbish. But that’s off topic.

Life is unfair. But it comes with an advantage. The Triangles can’t gang up and bully us anymore, though now they’ve resorted to saying mean things behind our backs, which is nearly as bad.

But I’ll never forget Mr. Hybrid and his killer bullets, and the pain.

We are just like you. We live, we play, we laugh, we cry, we die. But please, do not make our deaths more painful than it has to be. Thank you.


I’m Jingle, and I’m a Mutant Triangle, an Outcast. Me and Shatter here are the only Outcasts that have survived the Arena.

The only reason why Outcasts even exist lies heavily in opinions. The Squares and Pentagons have no problem with it, but the Triangles? Nope. I’ve never fully healed from that experience. I still have the scars.

So, despite everything we still spend some time in the Arena. Equal died within seconds, they spawned right next to a hungry Twin.

Me? I spawned with Shatter for some reason, a glitch in the code. We were on other ends of a FFA map, me spawning right in the middle of a nice patch of Squares, and I thought I was done for.

But guess what? A Level 2 tank with more than half their health gone tried to ram me. And boom.

When I went back to the Undergrid for a month(that’s a minute in the Arena) I thought Shatter must’ve died a horrible death up there. But then he reppeared, mortally wounded and nearly dead with only 3HP left, but still alive.

After he got his health back he explained that there had been a crazy fight between a Booster and a Triplet, and the Booster tried to run for it but died when they hit him.

It was mad luck. But I believed him.

So, we live in a little cottage thing in the boarders of the grid. It’s nice. Though a bit lonely with two of us.

The other Mutant Survivors visit us sometimes. There’s Abstract and Drift, the Squares, twin brothers. No Pentagons. They’re all dead, they’re too prized by the Tanks and far too rare.

Shatter talks of revenge on the Triangles. I disagree. We need to avenge our kin by attacking the Tanks. Imagine that, an army, lead by the Summoner and the other Bosses, Polygons swarming the Arena, Crashers attacking in mobs. But, as far as we know, that’s impossible.

There’s one way however.

We can bribe someone, or something.

We’ve never seen them, but Drift says the elders talk of the Gods of the Arena. They have bullets like fire, destroying and burning every tank in their path to ashes. Infinite health. Insane Body Damage. And not one little drop of damage to us. Imagine that.

Apparently, those entites are also already killing off the tanks, in an event called ‘Arena Closing’. Not quite sure what that means. But it sounds good.

Problem is, it’s only temporary. Within seconds after it finishes the Tanks are back, ready to commit genocide again. Unless the game updates. That’s when the Arena blacks out, and the Developer themselves makes an appearance to change something, though they’ve rarely come down here. I’ve never seen an Update before, but I’m sure one will come soon. But that’s off topic.

We’re going to find a way to make it permament. The Closing. To keep the tanks out forever. So that we can rule the Arena and the Undergrid. Forever. Never to be challenged again.

Be warned. The Mutants are coming.

[Completed]Arena Closer

Translated from Yibble

What’s yellow, extremely common in the Diepverse and is known by all?

You’ve already heard this joke? Oh.

I’m Doom. An Arena Closer, otherwise known as the God of the Tanks, the Finale, Developer’s Match or the Invincible Banana.

Maybe I was joking a bit in the last one.

So we’re the most overpowered tank in the whole game. Big deal.

We are the oldest things that still exist since the Creation. There’s hardly any of us. I’ve never bothered counting, but I think there’s only twenty. The other Closers I know are called Forge, Wrecker, Pixel and for some reason, Silver. No one knows exactly why she’s called that. Actually I think she may be the only girl around here.

How do tanks even have genders anyways? Names, I guess. But then again, Alex could go both ways. Or Jamie.


So, we basically lie dormant until something happens, like the scoreboard timer in a 2 Teams battle goes off, signalling that, let’s say, Blue won the game.

The timer banners the Arena Closed Message, and it also forces us awake. It takes a little bit of time for us to actually get in the Arena, which is why there’s a delay between the message and us actually appearing. Once everyone is out, we drift around a bit until they’re redirected off the death screen, then we go back to hibernation.

What’s makes us special is that we don’t need EXP to live.

Yup. You heard me right.

I think at the start, the Developer(the REAL god of the arena) was creating tanks. But then, one them had some broken bits of DNA code, and they changed. They weren’t the right colour, they wouldn’t store EXP, and the bullets were too big, fast, and strong for a level one tank, and too much Body Damage. An infinite amount of health. Neither would their bullets penetrate through polygons either. They were like the tank form of them, the Passive Ones, as we call them.

So then the Developer made more of them. A team.

The original Arena Closers were far too alike normal tanks. Only difference was that they were slightly bigger than a Level 45 Overlord or something, and the bullets were large. Wayyy too large.

I think something happened to the original Arena Closers, because none of them exist now. From what I know from the history books(Yes we have books. Don’t judge.), the Developer called the Closers out for a meeting and said something about updates.

Then I arrived. Or rather, was created. Me and the rest of the team today.

The old Arena Closers were dead, I think. Either the Developer killed them, or something happened then during the meeting, and the Developer had to make us as replacements.

Enough backstory, onto personal opinions.

Polygons? We have some sort of affinity with them, in relation to our code. So we can’t hurt them. But other than that, nothing. I neither despise nor like them.

I actually feel sorry for the tanks we have to kill. Outside of our little group(the ones I mentioned), the rest of the Closers are bloodthirsty savages. Endless killing made them thirst for the scattered remains of a fallen tank.

Like, seriously. They’d might secretly snipe the unwary away-from-keyboard tank to satisfy their wants.

There you go. Timeouts explained.

Please, don’t hate on me. Me and the group are anti-genocide, but the rest disagree. Understand that this is their nature. Being an Arena Closer is not fun. Not at all. Especially when you realise your purpose is to murder an innocent soul.





AHAHAHAHAHA Nothing like that. Life might be a piece of cake for us, but we’re not idiots.

Like our name suggests, we protect things. Tanks. We’re their Guardians, pretty much. We see an enemy? Gone.

Basically, whenever a bullet or Drone or Trap falls in our range we go into alert mode. If the tank themselves appear, we attack. If they leave, we go back to normal.

It’s a good system. Most of the time we just glide and laze around and talk about breakfast. Even though we never actually need to eat. The colour essence is enough to feed us.

See, that’s the part no one gets. How can you live off colour?

Don’t ask, I don’t know either. But that’s what gives us our power. Our health and speed.

The colour codes are important in the Arena. The code that exists within a tank determines it body and bullet colour. Something of the same colour code touching another cancels the damage. However, a stray strand of the wrong colour on a bullet landing on a different tank causes the code to jerk in a way, causing the tank and the bullet to lose HP. Same with tank crashing against tank. The colour code is concentrated in the team base, which is why opposing team tanks can’t enter, there’s too much. It’s also why we’re the same colour as the team we support.

The consequence is that our life source is tied to it. When we chase down an enemy we have to leave the base. If we go too far, our essence runs out, and we die. That’s why we give up after a while. If we kept following, we’ll either meet the Protectors on the other team base and engage in a useless fight, or we fade out. That’s it.

I envy the tanks sometimes. They carry their life source with them and can go wherever they please, and can collect EXP on the go. They can battle enemies out of our range and travel to the fabled Nest. While we are stuck in the base with tiny noob tanks trying to farm Pentagons.

We do have one picture of the Nest though. It's in the library downstairs in the Undergrid. I've seen it once. From what I remember, it's a place full of Pentagons as far as the eye can see. Also, I think there were pink Crashers too.

Is that where they come from? I see them sometimes if a tank - somehow - brings one back. They're like weak Protectors, though some of them are larger. Scarier.

Life is too boring to allow us much.



Well, I guess most of the time I don’t mind our simplicity. We just glide and laze around and talk about dinner.

That’s my life.


To be written...


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Guardian of the Pentagons

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The Fallen

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